Glett Burgess

I never saw a Purple Cow,

  I never hope to see one;

But I can tell you, anyhow,

  I'd rather see than be one.

          -Glett Burgess (The Purple Cow - 1895)

also....

Ah, Yes I wrote the "Purple Cow" ---

   I'm sorry, now, I wrote it!

But I can tell you anyhow,

   I'll kill you if you quote it.

          -(Cinq Ans Après)

Frank Glett Burgess.  1866 - 1951.  American humorist, author of Goops and How to Be Them (1900), Are You a Bromide (1906), etc.